Lost.

I’m on the verge of stepping back into a life I once called home. I don’t know what to expect or how to prepare my heart. I am heading back to Portugal to help lead a mission trip. That is the purpose of my trip, but in the back of my mind I wonder what God will have to show me about where I’ve been and where I am. Most days I’m not really sure where I am as my heart feels incredibly torn. I am currently living in Denver Colorado where life seems to slowly be coming together.  I have friends, a house, a more than wonderful roommate, a car that God graciously provided, and a wonderful part time job at a coffee shop. Along with my Christian Associates job, my life feels incredibly full. Yet I keep wondering when my life here in Colorado will feel like home. I look around and I still feel lost. I picture my family going up north to the cabin in Michigan and feel like my heart is still there. I picture my walks by the sea and the coffees shared with dear friends in Portugal and I know that part of my heart is still there too. There are many days when I take time to be still that I find myself asking God: “ Where am I?” Where am I, seems like a strange question when my current geography is fixed, but it makes complete sense when I think about my heart. I am still not quite sure where my heart resides.

So as I try to prepare my heart for this trip, I take a moment and ask God the same question.  “God, where am I?” I hear no other answer beyond the fact that it simply doesn’t matter. God knows exactly where I am even when and especially when I feel lost. If nothing else, maybe that is what this season is about. Maybe God is teaching me that no matter what, no matter how I feel or what happens, God will always have me. He carries me when I feel confused and lost. He walks with me when I don’t know where I’m walking. He and his hands are big enough to hold me when I feel lost.  End of story: God has got me.

So as I think about the weeks to come in Portugal and that months and years that may stretch before me, I lean into the truth that no matter what, I am his and nothing can snatch me from his hand. Now that’s comfort. That is worth living for. 

Wherever you go.

So the last time that I wrote in my little blog, my adorable nephew was imploring me to be strong and courageous even in the midst of the many unknowns that were filling my life at that time. Even after that, I still had moments and actually still do, where I freak out as I face the uncertainties of the future. One of the reasons why I waited for so long to write was because I wanted to see how things were going to fall together before I filled everyone in. 

Last time I wrote, I was so excited to tell you about my new job at a local coffee shop. Well, it turns out that that job has been such an incredible blessing in my life. Out of all the coffee shops, I could have applied for, this particular coffee shop roasts and ships coffee to coffee shops all over the US. The pay is surprisingly more than what I could have hoped for and the people that I work with have been so welcoming and fun to work with. Kaladi Brothers Coffee is very quickly becoming my family here.

Another thing that I was trusting God for was someone to live with and a place to live. One day I thought to myself, I would love to live with someone who has lived internationally before and who could understand the challenges of entering back into one’s home culture again after a couple years away. I then met Michelle. Michelle, just moved back from the Czech Republic this past fall. She had been living with a family in the Denver area and was just starting to think about finding a place of her own.  Michelle lived with my friend Kara, who works for Christian Associates in Prague! This past summer, I went to visit my friend Kara in Prague and stayed in Michelle’s apartment, but never met Michelle! When Kara was in town briefly this past month, Michelle came to visit her, which is when I met Michelle for the first time. We hit it off and started looking for places to live!

Touring the neighbor hoods near my coffee shop, we stumbled upon this cute little house advertising a two bedroom apartment a bit above our price range! A very long story short, the landlord found out that both Michelle and I had been doing mission work in Europe and decided to rent the house to us for about 150 dollars less per month than what he had been asking. He told us that ten years ago, a church was started in that very living room!  Michelle and I see it as a tremendous blessing and clearly straight from the hand of God. The pictures speak of its charm, but I know that as we settle in, it will be a blessing to many many more!

Finally, a car was the last thing on the list! I still don’t have a car, but am borrowing a bike to tool around town, which surprisingly enough is quite feasible! But I am happy to say that with the combination of several abundant donations, a tax refund and some money saved, I have enough cash to purchase a mountain savvy car. I merely have to find one. I am trusting God in that too, knowing that as he has seamlessly pulled the many other details together, he will do it again with a trust worthy vehicle.

I guess more than anything else, this whole season, though very challenging has shown me that this God of mine is a living God who more than cares for all the little and big cares of my heart. As in the words of both the Joshua’s: “The Lord will be with you where ever you go!” He surely has been with me here!

Joshua.

In making the decision to leave Portugal for Colorado, I knew that the road connecting the two places would be a difficult one. I knew that going from feeling connected and at home in Portugal to feeling the same sense of belonging in Colorado would be a journey filled with dramatic ups and downs and unpredictable moments. The past month has been filled with just that.

The other day, following a conversation with my boss who has generously let me stay in his home with his wonderful family, I realized that I wasn’t doing so well. The worries about finding another part time job to balance my CAI income, a place to live and people to live with and a car were almost suffocating me. The pressures and ensuing needs of finding community and friends to create a support system were overwhelming. The fact that Portugal is still holding my heart was causing my emotions to run a little crazy as the fears of the future were reeking havoc as well.  I found myself in tears on the phone with friends and family, one of whom was my dear sister-in-law Rochelle. The next day, with the help of his parents, my beyond adorable nephew, Joshua, had memorized a Bible verse just for me and even managed to record it in hopes of being an encouragement to me.

I found myself in tears again for multiple reasons. First of all, he is so cute I just couldn’t help but cry as his most loving and proud Auntie. Second of all, his little words in the innocence of his voice, helped stir my heart to believe that what he was saying was actually true. That night, I listened to it over and over again, and as I did, I could feel my fears, doubts and worries slowly fade. I found that his little words built my faith to believe that God was still in this with me. Some where along the way, I had forgotten. I’m sure this is a reoccurring human experience, doubting what we know to be true, but I’m so glad that my little nephew was there to remind me.

Since then, I’ve continued to explore my new surroundings, build friendships, and try to figure out the remaining pieces to the puzzle. One of which, I am happy to say has recently come into to place. Last week with persistence and a brilliantly written essay submitted to a pretty grunge, vintage and happening coffee shop, I landed a new part time job! Starting next week I will be fully employed, part time with with Christian Associates International and part time with Kaladi Brothers Coffee! I’m going to be a real live Barista and I can’t wait! I still don’t know why they hired me as I have no crazy piercing or tattoos and no experience within the coffee industry, but I am so excited to learn about coffee, roasting, and drink preparation! I’m also so excited about the relationships I will get to be a part of not only with my fellow employees but also with the clientele that will inevitably darken the doors on a daily basis! I really feel like this job will be part of a healthy balance of administrative and relational roles for my new life in Denver!

As it stands, I am still looking for a few more pieces of the puzzle to fall into place, such as some good friends to live with, a place to live that is situated near my new coffee shop, some cheap furnishings for said apartment and a car that will be mountain savvy for future Rocky mountain adventures. However, though worry still threatens me, I know that God’s faithfulness, especially evidenced in this new job, will come through yet again in every other area necessary! Thanks for coming along with me on this journey as I attempt to live a life of faith in real ways! 

Colorado Landings.

Joshua and Me

 It’s hard to believe that it has only been just over a month since leaving Portugal. In some ways my cute little apartment by the sea seems like years ago, but in other ways it seems like only yesterday! So much has transpired since my last run by the Atlantic! I In December, I landed in the states, spent a few days in Denver dropping off stuff as well as getting a general lay of the land! I then flew home to spend a lovely month with my family over the Christmas holiday season! That time was filled with a solid week with my two adorable nephews, my always-fun brothers, my sweet sister-in-laws, my stable parents and even my little Chihuahua! I started to worry when after three weeks, not a snow flake had fallen to provide me with a fresh layer of white, but in the final week we received a healthy dump of Michigan’s finest snow fall which allowed me to go cross country skiing with some of my favorite people through some of my favorite woods! However, before I knew it, my frolicking in a winter wonderland had come to an end, and it was time to start my new adventure in Denver.

The Statema Ladies

I landed in Denver last week Saturday and I am happy to say that I have finally unpacked the last of the boxes I had shipped from Portugal!  I am currently living with my boss and his family in the basement of their lovely home in Littleton, Colorado, which is about 30 minutes south of downtown Denver. My little basement bedroom is now decorated with the few things I took back from Portugal, and it honestly feels like home! I will be staying with them for two months until I can figure out where exactly I want to live! They are also graciously letting me borrow their spare vehicle for a couple months so that I can hopefully save enough to buy one of my own!

Claire Callison and Me

Exploration has very much commenced, as I am a week into my time here in Colorado. I’ve been driving around, getting lost, checking out new trails systems, meeting lots of fun people, visiting new churches, and getting some quality time with my new family here! The girls and I the other day went on a little hike along the Platte River in the beautiful sunshine that seems to find Denver almost 300 days a year! I have also started working in my new role as the Short Term Trip Coordinator by narrowing down what exactly we will be offering for short-term trips this summer! I am so excited about this new role. I have seen the tremendous impact of short term trips in helping people begin to imagine what God might have planned for them and I am excited about facilitating and participating in what God is doing to call his people.

Even with all this excitement and change, I am very much aware that I am in a major life transition! This part of it is never easy, as I find myself in a new context feeling somewhat unknown by the people around me and feeling a bit lost as to what life is going to look like here. However, God has not left me without some familiarity. Through “random” connections within the neighborhood, I have already found volleyball team! I am playing in a four on four, indoor, beach volleyball league that plays weekly in a super cool warehouse that has wall to wall sand and makes me think that I am indeed still living by the sea. I am so excited that ministry will continue as I seek to build relationships within this new context and see where God takes them. Thanks so much for your prayers and support as I transition and as I continue to settle, raise support for my new role, and try to make life work here in Denver, Colorado!

Moroccan Adventure

The stars aligned over a Moroccan sky, as during the month of January when not a lot was going on, and cabin fever threatened to drive me crazy, my friend Julie decided to come to Portugal for a visit. Having an adventurous spirit as well, she wanted to not only see Lisbon and where I lived but also Morocco! She asked me if I wanted to come with her and since I had been meaning to visit a couple of friends who had recently moved from Lisbon, Portugal to Casablanca, Morocco, I thought I would take her up on her offer! The flights on easyjet were remarkably cheap, one of them only costing me 10$, so it worked out perfectly and off we went to not just another country, but also another continent!
Since Julie had done most of the planning for the trip, I really didn’t have to think about it much. I merely followed her directions and suddenly I was in Africa! It really was a tremendous adventure! It was full of normal adventure stuff with everything from a few shady alleyways we decided not to go down knowing my mother would not approve, some gorgeous vistas of the Atlas mountains, a few new friends from Morocco and various other countries throughout the world, a little language learning of Arabic, French, and Berber, the nomadic language, and even some camel riding throughout the Sahara Desert! We wondered through the first city navigating and orienting ourselves with maps from travel books and brochures. We found our hostels and friends successfully though not without some frustration. We even enjoyed the best of Moroccan food with couscous galore and plenty of tasty meats to flavor it with! The markets, for me, were one of the high lights of the trip! I loved the colors and the chaos there in. I loved walking by shop after shop filled with brilliantly dyed leather bags, intricately embroidered shoes and finely woven scarves. I even enjoyed haggling with the vendors striving for their lowest price, hoping it truly was their lowest price and not just another bluff! Over all Morocco was a tremendous adventure but it was also an experience.
I knew going into the trip that it would be my first time in an Islamic country, but beyond that I didn’t know what that would mean. Honestly, I was only there for a week, so I can’t really draw any conclusions, and maybe my initial assessments would change had I spent more time there, but let’s just say I was happy to come back to Portugal. There were some beautiful things about the Islamic faith that I admired such as the consistent five times daily calls to prayer. Starting at sunrise around 6:00am while we were there, through the loud speakers in every mosque, about one per block, a call to prayer would ring out. This would happen three more times during the day and then again at sundown. Though I didn’t know what was being said, there was something beautiful in it and how it united the community in their faith. Another beautiful thing that I saw within the Islamic faith is the segregation of genders. Now don’t get me wrong, I am all about equality of the sexes, but with such intense segregation of males and females, we experienced some really special bonding times with our fellow women. While on our way back from Casablanca on the train on our final day, Julie and I found a train car that was only comprised of women. Though it wasn’t the most spacious we sat down, at least knowing that we were safe and secure in our present company. Near the end of the train ride the two berka wearing women sitting across from us, after having eating a bit of the breakfast they had brought with them generously shared with us not only offering us bread but also sharing the very cups they had used to let us drink some coffee. There was something so beautiful in this moment. There was no common language to unite us them not speaking English and us not speaking Arabic, but the bond of femininity welded us together stronger and quicker than I’d ever experienced before. It was a transcending moment for me, knowing that whatever the background and whatever the culture, humanity unites us all. However, the Islamic experience of that week was not with out its dark side. I felt the hopelessness of the women, as they have very few rights and often end up in oppressive situations. I saw the harsh reality of a religion void of grace and based primarily on works. I got on the plane to go home not only relieved that I was returning to a sunny Portugal filled with things that I had grown to love but also because though I’m not perfect, Jesus has paid the price for me entirely, and I stand in the freedom that his love gives me.

Happy 1 Year Anniversary!!!

Signing up for this gig was one of the scariest things I’ve ever done and now that I am a year into it I can hardly believe that it has gone so smoothly. Many of the fears I had before I left seem ridiculous now, and as I come to my one-year anniversary, I see that God faithfulness is the only explanation! A year ago, around mid-January, I boarded a plane to Lisbon, Portugal to live and work with a church planting organization called Christian Associates International. Before that I had been living with my parents in Michigan, working random jobs and preparing to move abroad. In many ways during this time I was bracing myself for the impact of moving to another country, saying goodbye to family and friends and trying to build a life for myself there. With so many unknowns in my future, I found it difficult to keep my anxiety under control. However, today, as I watched the waves crash against the shore while I stretched after my morning run, I realized that like the consistency of wave after wave, God faithfulness never falters. I worried that I wouldn’t have any friends and that people wouldn’t like me for who I am, and now, a year later I don’t seem to have enough time during the week to hang out with all of them. I worried that I wouldn’t have family here, but in the Christian community I find I not only do I have numerous nephews, nieces and cousins to play with, but also several sets of parents to look out for me. I worried that I would struggle with the language and be unable to communicate, but now after a year, I find that I am at level of communication that allows me to enter into conversation and keeps my Portuguese friends from having to speak English so I won’t feel left out! I worried that I would get so sucked into the international community that I wouldn’t be able to build strong relationships with the Portuguese, but since I joined a Portuguese volleyball team and also started making friends in my neighborhood, I now wonder if I’m not spending enough time with internationals. This one sounds silly, but I worried that I would be living in a dark, cold apartment, but I find myself sitting in my adorable apartment with large full windows in every single room, with sunlight shining in to warm me up. Not only is my apartment amazing with dangerously close proximity to the beach, I also live two amazing women who care for me, who laugh we me, watch chick flicks with me and who are working in ministry as well. God has met my personal needs abundantly and has shown me that those things that I worry about are often the things that he has already taken care of. Ministry-wise God is blowing me away as well! My relationships with people around me are going deeper! Trust is being built and I am starting to see the fruit of that trust in some of our conversations and interactions! I am also continuing to see still more relationships being started! When I look back a year ago when I moved here barely knowing a handful of people, and then start list the relationship I have now, I am simply amazed. It makes me wonder why I ever fail to trust God. He knew as I boarded the plane fighting back the tears I didn’t want my mom to see that there was really nothing to be afraid of. He knew that I would definitely have some rough days and rough moments, but He also knew how He was going to provide for me and take care of me. It makes me wonder what other fears I am holding on too that are also entirely unfounded, that will seem ridiculous in a year, a month or even a week. Seeing God come through for me here in Portugal, providing financially, emotionally, socially and even spiritually, gives me peace as I glance into the future and wonder what steps He is asking me to take next. But until then, my Portuguese adventure continues and only God knows what testimony I will get to share next year!

Lessons Learned on the Court

I have been an athlete for as long as I can remember. The first game I picked up was the very invigorating game of tee-ball. A variation of softball that only offers entertainment for the players and that is almost painful to watch for the spectators. Some where in there I played a little soccer and even a little basketball, still never quite finding my niche. I joined a swim team and struggled through painful hours of practice sucking in too much water and almost going nuts for lack of intellectual stimulation. There was a short season of Ultimate Frisbee and some running, but none of these even come close to touching the enjoyment that I find in the wonderful sport of Volleyball! When I first moved to Portugal and discovered that it was actually a possibility for me to play volleyball on an actual team with actual practices and games, I was shocked! For the first two months I was in awe that I should receive such a gift. It really didn’t matter to me if I played or not. I was just happy to have an opportunity to play the game I loved and build relationships with Portuguese gals with similar interests. What a perfect way for me to connect with nationals as well as learn the language! I was so grateful I couldn’t stop telling people about how cool my God was! However, somewhere along the way, my competitive side took over. I wish I could say that I was above caring whether or not I received enough playing time, but I’m not. At the beginning of September with the inauguration of this year’s season, we received several new players a couple of whom were vying for my spot. Something inside me flared up. I started practicing harder, playing harder and being more focused in practice. Though this is not bad in the least, I also started to change the way I saw volleyball. Instead of seeing it as a gift, that the team and opportunity to play was a complete gift from God, I started to see it as something I was entitled too. After starting all last year, I thought I would of course be given my spot back. However, with a glitch in the system and the delay of necessary paper work from the states, I was not even able to dress. Finally when I was able to suit up, I was sitting the bench having been replaced by another player. I struggled with this as it was a huge hit to my competitive nature not to mention my ego. I struggled to have confidence on the court and even struggled to love the girls that were playing in front of me. It came to a head this past week after a very frustrating practice, and I realized that I had to wrestle with this, search my heart and figure out what was going on. Spending some time with God I was reminded of how I felt at the very beginning when I was first invited on the team. I remembered that like everything God gives us, volleyball was a gift. Like the air I breathe, the clothes I wear, the food I eat, the relationships I have and the games I get to play, it is a gift. If I hold onto it, grasping it as if I would be lost without it, as if the gift is so much more important than the giver, I not only miss the point of the gift, but am also more prone to lose it. However, if I set it in my open hands, thanking God for it, and being open to the thought that it could be taken from me, I will not only be grateful for it, but I will also enjoy it so much more. Last night we had a game. It was a tough match. Not starting again, I walked to the bench determined to contribute in someway. I analyzed the opponents, gave my opinions and supported my team from the bench. I held it with an open hand just being grateful for the time with the girls and the practices I enjoyed during the week. I was focused, and determined to love those around me. Eventually I got in and had a wonderful game complete with several kills, a few aces and a plethora of amazing digs, but it wasn’t my playing that made it fun, it was my attitude. For me, yesterday, volleyball was a gift. It was exactly what it was meant to be and nothing more than it should be.

Christmas in Portugal!!

In some ways I was bracing myself for impact not know exactly how my first Christmas away from home would actually go. I was bracing myself for a Christmas without snow, without my parents, bro’s, sister-in-laws and nephews, without my innumerable extended family members, without grandma’s pig-n-blankets, and without my Chihuahua. I wasn’t sure how it was going to feel spending my Christmas in another country with people, all of whom I had known for less than a year. But to my grand surprise it was actually wonderful! Ok so there is nothing that can replace said list above, but the fact that I was extremely happy and contented without aforementioned list makes me think that God really did provide for me this Christmas. The party began on the morning of Christmas Eve when I met my Portuguese mother Lourdes and a couple of her friends for coffee. I put on a a festive red sweater and with gifts in hand sauntered down to Café Alice. Café Alice is a stone’s throw away from my place and though the ambience is nothing to write home about, it does carry with it a Cheers-like atmosphere where everyone knows your name! We enjoyed our little lattes and exchanged presents. It was a special time, because unlike the presents I had shipped to my family via amazon.com, I was able to wrap these and give them myself. Manual, the owner of the Café Alice, looked at me with disgust when I handed him a present wondering why in the world I would give him anything. At first I had wondered if I had done something culturally inappropriate but Lourdes assured me that his dismayed look was only evidence of the fact that he had nothing to give me. I laughed and explained that the people in this café were my family this Christmas and hence were the ones I bought presents for. It was a special time I was glad that I had stayed in Portugal for. After coffee, I tried my hand at making Christmas cookies by myself for the first time! With the help of my friend Whitney they turned out fabulous, almost perfect! We piled them on a plate to take to our Christmas Eve service but instead of taking them we decided to give them to the ladies working in the bakery just below my apartment! They were delighted, and oohed and ahhed at the colors and sprinkles. To my surprise, after explaining the tradition to them, one of them whipped around and grabbed one of their “Bolo do Rei” cakes (meaning cake of the king, a traditional Portuguese Christmas cake) and handed it to me in exchange! It was again a neat time of giving and receiving! Whitney and I then buzzed up to the Christmas Eve gathering where we sang carols and focused our attention on the reason for the season! However, at 7:00pm the night was yet young for at 7:30 my Portuguese friend Mari, was scheduled to pick me up to share the evening with the whole of her extended family to celebrate in typical Portuguese fashion. Little did I know that I would not see my bed that night until 2:00am! The Portuguese are the most sleep deprived nation in Europe, but they sure know how to have a good time. I felt so honored to be able to step into Mari’s world and experience Christmas with her. She showed me around and introduced me to her aunts, uncles, cousins, and grandma and I thought to myself, how it was not very unlike the crazy Christmas Eve gathering on the Statema side!Some of the festivities included drinking soup out of a small bowl as a starter, eating Codfish and of course a plethora of desserts, and drinking a strong dose of Portuguese coffee around midnight. Presents were stealthily placed under the tree while the children were in another room trying to spy out a window for Santa. Then with a bell and a lot of clapping we pretended to wave goodbye to Santa as the kids rushed in so bummed that they had just missed him. Their disappointment didn’t last long however, because they soon had their hands full tearing open their presents! It was such a fun night, and though, I missed my family, I was able to appreciate Christmas on the Portuguese side of things! Christmas day was a day filled with relaxing, eating and playing games with some other Americans in the area. I was glad to have a day to recover from the craziness the day before. All in all my Christmas, though very different, was wonderful! It was filled with my family here, both American and Portuguese, and I am so grateful to have been able to celebrate the birth of my Savior with so many!

Thanksgiving in Portugal

Yes, I realize Thanksgiving happened several weeks ago, but I didn’t want to miss the opportunity to tell you about my Thanksgiving celebration. So I figured it was better late than never, so please bear with me. I thought I would be ok spending Thanksgiving away from home this year, since I had done it several times before, once while I was in Venezuela and twice out in California while I was studying at Fuller. However, for some reason this Thanksgiving was actually pretty hard. Though my roommates and I had tried to make the day fun by eating a big breakfast and even going to the opening night of New Moon, the movie we had been waiting to see, I still ended up breaking down, just wishing I could be home enjoying the deliciousness that is Thanksgiving in the Tolman Barn. (yes, its true, my family and I celebrate Thanksgiving in a barn.) Even though theThanksgiving Day held more tears than normal for me, the following Sunday, when we celebrated as a community, more than compensated for it. We celebrated Thanksgiving together in the school where I teach Physical Education. The spread was amazing as everyone contributed something. And since 7 of my volleyball friends came to join me, I finally understood what my mom goes through each holiday, as she has to make enough food to compensate for the number of mouths that are coming to the table. I made a gigantic vat of mashed potatoes, heated up some corn and whipped up an extra sweet apple crisp dessert. I was so excited for my v-ball friends to come, experience a truly American Thanksgiving and to meet all my other friends and “family.” And after seeing the movies and sitcoms portray Thanksgiving with its turkey, cranberry sauce, and American football, the girls were equally excited. I discovered though, that their perceptions of Thanksgiving revolved around the idea of the day just being for family, and though that is a big part of the day for many, it is actually a day to give thanks to God for his faithfulness to us. A colleague of mine shared this very important message and then offered a chance for people to share what they were thankful for. I was touched when one of my volleyball players stood up and shared that she was grateful for the change in her life, for the opportunity to be on our team, meet me and come to the Thanksgiving gathering. I then stood up and shared how I was so grateful for my friends, this group of volleyball girls who accepted me and continued to include me realizing that they didn’t have to! I shared how grateful I was that God would provide me with such good friends here in a foreign country. After I was finished, I looked down and saw tears forming in the eyes of my girls! It was such a neat opportunity for me to really share with the girls what they mean to me as well as introduce them to the One my thanksgiving goes to. This is quickly becoming my most favorite of holidays!!

Surf and Spirit Weekend!!

I honestly thought that after my best friend Holly left, life would slow down a little and settle back into some semblance of a routine, however, the ball has continued to roll fast. (Which is actually a pretty great thing considering that the holidays are here and I don’t really want to slow down too much to have to miss my family more than necessary.) Anyways, one of my roles on my team here in Portugal is to hang out with the youth of the community as sort of a youth pastor sort person. We have a great group of young people here, and conveniently enough, most of them are girls! So this past weekend, we packed them up, rented a large house and had one massive sleep over. We named it Surf and Spirit, taking the time to hang out with each other, get some professional surf lessons, dance in our pajamas, eat lots of food , watch some chick flicks and go a little deeper with God and with each other. The weekend was a tremendous success and though I barely made it out alive, being completely exhausted, it was totally worth it. As you can see from the pictures, these girls are full of life, keeping my friend Jasmin and me on our toes. Most of the girls seen are a part of the Christian International community here, some of them even being missionary kids. Many of them know the basics about the faith, but what we wanted to do is give the girls some time to go deeper. We wanted to give them space to grow, to pray and to just be with God and be together. One of the nights we took some time to reflect on the story of Hagar. Hagar is an interesting gal in the Bible who through a series of twists in the story ends up in the dessert alone a couple of times running from home. As we read the story, we realized that God came to find her and bring her back to where she needed to be. Hagar responds to God in a unique way: she gives God a name. She calls him: “the God who sees me.” The story really ministered to me as it lets me know that even when I feel alone and completely invisible, God still sees me, e still cares, and He still loves me. God comes for us. It was cool to watch how the girls processed this, seeing that God cares for them in the same way. As a youth being raised by American parents and yet in a completely different culture, one can feel pretty alone at times, but God still sees them. He still finds them where they are and meets them. Though these girls know the stories, the facts and the Bible pretty well, our hope was to lead them deeper to a place where they absolutely know that they are loved by God. I think the Spirit was at work in our midst! Another cool thing that happened beyond the surfing and the chick flicks, was that each of the girls received a verse on Friday and another verse on Saturday, both chosen at random by Jasmin and me. It was amazing to see how God used the verses to speak to each of the girls something different and yet something they felt they needed to hear. Overall the weekend was a huge success. Sure it left us tired, dirty and even a little salty, but I could see on the girls faces a renewed hope and excitement about how is working God in their lives.

Recent Activities and Random Thoughts.

One fact that I don’t often share with people is that my apartment is a mere five-minute walk from the ocean. (I don’t enjoy incurring jealousy.) Nonetheless, I simply walk out my front door, down a few blocks and a staircase and suddenly I stand before the massive Atlantic. The sea is not only beautiful but it almost always speaks a deeper truth to me. One of my favorite things to do is to take a twilight jog along the boardwalk that hugs the ocean so that after my there and back route I can sit and stretch by the sea while the moon light flickers on the water. I love taking in the sound of the waves and the water crashing on the rocks. I love to look out into the inky black ocean, watching it stretch out till it blends into the darkness. And I love how it makes me feel. I feel both small and incredibly significant. I feel small in the sense that it reminds me that there is so much happening throughout the world beyond my personal sphere and yet, I feel significant because God loves me as if nothing else is. It’s a paradox really, and it’s a tension that I think sometimes makes it hard to grasp the truth of who God is. He is huge and yet so small. He is beyond powerful, and yet infinitely gentle. He is spinning the worlds of a billion galaxies, and yet the details of my day are important to him. It’s almost impossible to fathom, but I’m grateful for the ocean that helps me try.
I thought I would dive deep to start, to let you know some of my more recent revelations, but a lot has happened since my last blog so I thought I would also include a general run down of what I have been up to. Last week was a big week for me. Not only did a short-term missions team come from states but I was also shipped off to Brussels again to finish up the second part to my field orientation. I had been preparing a lot for both of these events the week before: arranging the details and daily schedule of the team, booking van rentals, and coordinating meals and work projects all the while finishing up the projects I was to present at my field orientation that of course, I had previously procrastinated on. Needless to say I was quite busy.However, I managed to pull everything together in time to board the plane just as the short-term team was landing into the country. While I was in Brussels for the week, I presented my projects, listened to my colleague’s projects, toured a little of the city and of course ate a Belgian waffle and plenty of Belgian chocolates. Sadly I had to miss a couple volleyball games and a few practices, but because I brought back a box of fine chocolates for my team, they readily forgave me. This week I have enjoyed a peaceful apartment as both of my roommates are off on quick trips to the states. I, however, am preparing to receive someone from the states as a guest for two weeks! My best friend, Holly, is arriving today!!! I have been looking forward to her coming as she is the first person from home that will get to know what life is like for me here. I’m sure by the next blog I will have several hilarious stories to share, as we never seem to avoid mishaps and crazy adventures. But for today I guess I will just show her the sea. ☺

Who Knew Fourth Place Could Feel So Good!!

This past weekend, I was blessed with the opportunity to play in a Grass Volleyball Tournament. I struggled to find people to play with as many of my Club Teammates had been playing with the same people for years in this annual tournament. However, with a few phone calls and a few new friends, I was able to pull together a team of five girls from various club teams in the area. We entered into the two day tournament and even with never having played together before, we pulled out fourth place in a tournament of around 20 teams!Not only did we take fourth place, but we had a blast together. The tournament itself was set in a pretty happening tourist destination called Belem.Picture a 300-year-old monastery with ornate gothic carvings towering above the trees that frame in our tournament field. As we sweat under the Portuguese sun, muddy and grass-stained from our self-sacrificing dives to the ground, we look up and see a place of worship that has stood strong for even longer than the USA has been a country. Yet the paradox of it all is just on the other side of the field is a row of stores, shops and restaurants, not the least of whom are Starbucks and McDonalds. On the opposite side of the monastery is the River Tejo, the life source of Lisbon, that is constantly bringing in ocean liners, cruise liners, and random ski-does to the doors of commerce keeping the city rolling.I found myself in this transcendent setting this weekend, all the while building and deepening relationships with my fellow volleyball players as well as with new friends I had just met. There was something even more special about it. For the first time in a long time I felt like I was really a part of their world.We sweat together, ate junk food together, guzzled many litters of water together, felt the stain of our muscles together and of course, laughed together.I was experiencing their pain, excitement, frustration, and joy!Of course I will always be the crazy American that they tease and pick on sometimes, but on their turf, in the midst of their history and culture, I labored with them and was able to step into their world. Not only did I have a blast, playing the game I love and slamming the ball down on my opponents/friends, I was able to feel apart of their world. And that is why I’m here, in Portugal. , and by the way… did I mention we won the equivalent of $270 for fourth place? Which split five ways is about $50 each person and enough to fill my gas tank for two weeks! Not to shabby!!! Either way, I had a great weekend, and though I am paying the price today in the soreness of my muscles and the fatigue in my body, I am convinced that it was definitely more than worth it!

Oscillating fans.

A little known fact about me is that in order to sleep in perfect peace I require but one thing: an oscillating fan. I know it sounds funny but ever since I was little I would have a fan blowing while I dozed off into dreamland and now that I am a little older, I can’t seem to sleep without one. The humming white noise lulls me to sleep and while this is a good thing when one is in bed, it can be somewhat fatal when one is sitting in Portuguese class. It is a proven fact by someone somewhere that learning a language and functioning entirely in a different language is exhausting. As the brain tries to adjust to the new language it nearly zaps you of the energy you would normally have. Combine the language acquisition exhaustion with the oscillating fan in our classroom and I am pretty much toast. Now I am happy to report that I have yet to fall asleep in class, but I admit to you that this success has not been without the help of way too many cups of coffee! I started this very intensive language course at the beginning of September and though it is kicking my butt, I am loving it.I love the whole experience of it from the time I step on public transport, to the interesting conversations in Portuguese to coming home again. I don’t so much enjoy getting up early, but once I’m up, I get ready and try to make it out the door by 8:45 to catch the train for my morning commute! Thankfully, I live ridiculously close to the train station being that I can see it from my bedroom window. With a good book in hand, I hop on the train at 9:54 and make it to Lisbon about a half hour later. From there I start the sprint down the stairs and escalators, past the ticket checkers and run to the end of the platform where I can find a seat on the least crowded car which will whiz me under the central city of Lisbon. I change metro lines one more time, ride for one more stop, and then emerge out into sunlight again. Miraculously, I am transported without a car, with a few quick sprints to the very steps of the university. If I get there early enough, I can grab a coffee, doctor it up with some sugars, drink it down and make it to class in time to learn my new language. The whole experience makes me feel like I am actually Portuguese. I also find myself in class with several new friends one of whom is this way cool Russian chick who is learning Portuguese so she can communicate better with her boyfriend. We have a good time in class as we banter back and forth. I was even given the chance to share with her, albeit in Portuguese, why I am in Portugal and why I would chose to live this sort of life. It was really a neat conversation that took me by surprise. Another friend I’ve made is a missionary from Australia who is working to plant churches. We really hit it off and I look forward to continuing to build that friendship. I am happy to say, though, that with all the extra practice in Portuguese, I have seen a major difference. I seem to understand more and my speaking has definitely improved. There is yet still much work to be done as I continue to find myself completely lost in some conversations. So if I can resist the oscillating fan for a couple weeks more I will find myself a little further along the path of language learning and hopefully a little closer to deeper relationships with the wonderful Portuguese that surround me.

A picture of me NOT in class!!

You never knew I was so talented...

I can’t believe that the month of August is almost finished and gone. Coming back from the states, I thought I would still have a little time to enjoy the sunshine and the beach before things started to get moving, however, since coming back from the beautiful land of Michigan, I have hit the ground running. Most of my activities upon my return have revolved around the annual conference of Christian Associates, called Connect. This year, Connect was held in Portugal about an hour and a half north of where I live. I worked alongside my teammates to help iron out the details for the week long conference, specifically making sure that everyone had transportation from the airport to the camp and back. It was an interesting challenge trying to maneuver those logistical waters especially considering that I am pretty much awful with details. I am happy to say that Connect was a huge success.I know from my experience at least, that I left feeling very encouraged with what God is doing in Europe and strengthened even more for what God has set before me here. Yet the week was not just filled with spiritual encouragement. I was also very encouraged by all the fun we had! One night, we actually had a talent show, which if any of you know me, you will know that I revel in these little spot light activities. I, hence, volunteered to perform two of my talents. (Lets be honest: there aren’t a whole lot to choose from!) One of the talents that emerged was a duet I performed with my friend Kara. We graced the stage with a lively rendition of the rap from Fresh Prince of Bellaire! It won the crowd over as everyone was clapping and laughing as we somewhat acted out the words! And, seriously, who doesn’t love to sing along to that song! My second talent involved a spicy balancing act to the all time classic of Vanilla Ice Ice Baby! I strutted up on stage to the beat and with the help of several conveniently placed props, managed to woo the crowd by balancing larger and more awkward objects on my face, all to culminate in balancing a table precariously on my chin. The crowd seemed to love it, and me being the little attention seeker that I actually am, drank it in enjoying the benefits of being able to perform stupid human tricks!(I hope you like the video! My friend, sadly, was not able to capture the pinnacle of the routine but at least you get the idea. Be prepared to rock out as well!!) For me the talent show was definitely a highlight, but I also really enjoyed getting to know other people from the Christian Associates family, playing a little beach volleyball and spending ample time outside in pine forest where our conference was set. the time Connect had finished I was ready to dive in again to the work before me. In a couple days, I begin studying Portuguese again, planning for another short-term trip to come in October, and even playing volleyball with the team again!
It is going to be a busy September, but I am happy to find a more consistent schedule again as fall is just around the corner. Someone send me some Michigan apples and I’ll make sure to send the Portuguese sunshine every now and again! Until soon.

Oh my dear sweet Michigan!!

To me Michigan Summers are priceless. Thankfully, this summer I was able to partake in the joys of said Michigan summers for almost a full month, which is pretty great considering that I am living in Portugal!! My time at home was wonderful. I was blessed with the opportunity to come home for a family reunion over the 4th of July as well as tack on a few extra weeks to touch base with supporters and just enjoy my friends and family. I would love to relay all of the details of my time but I'm afraid that it would be too tremendously long that my readers would quickly lose interest! So in order to save words and make the process way more fun for everyone involved I have organized yet another top ten list. (Please don't read too much into the order as it is much too difficult to chose an experience to top all of the others. I guess I should just call it a list. Next time...)

Top Ten Home Joys

10. Getting sufficient time to jog on all my old routes, through the trees of Riley Street Trails, along the windy black top trail hugging Lake Shore drive, through the dear and quaint streets of Zeeland with my friend Erica, and of course, along the 4 mile circumference of my lake, Wolf Lake to be topped off by a refreshing and peaceful dip in the inviting waters.

9. Driving the super cool vehicle my mother's coworker lent me for the month: a very sturdy, authentic, and rustic Dodge Raider that seemed to fit me perfectly all the way down to the final touches of a tuner radio that only seemed to pick up country stations! Talk about a good time cruising to the beach in that beast!!

8. Not only seeing my beloved Chihuahua again and finding lots of time to snuggle with him, but also getting the chance to save his life when he inadvertently jumped out of the pontoon boat! I was able to act quickly enough, throw myself into the water fully clothed and save my cute little bobbing dog before he could no longer stay afloat or was eaten by a large fish! :)

7. Frequenting downtown Holland by popping into JP’s much too often to seem like I have any sort of life outside of coffee dates with dear friends, by shopping at the Outpost, my own personal supplier of everything fun, and by eating at Subs-n-More, the best place on the planet for submarine sandwiches.

6. Being able to spend wonderful quality time with my cousins sitting around bonfires, partaking in the priceless tradition of Friday night Chinese night and even attending a surprise party for one of them!

5. Attending yet another five year Sandbulte Reunion in the middle of Iowinian corn fields with over 600 relatives in attendance. Activities of the weekend included a real live pig roast, a very wet canoe trip, the always ridiculously funny talent show, barn yard games full of cheating and competition, baseball, dancing, volleyball, times of worship and a dangerously close fire works display. These are truly the best things of life.

4. Getting quality time with my parents eating at Fracano’s, the AmVets and Mother’s Cupboard all places that serve deliciously greasy American foods that I am forced to live without for the rest of the year!

3. Watching more of my nephew, Joshua, than the animals at the Sioux Falls Zoo all the while chasing him around, documenting every smile on my camera and stealing tons of hugs and kisses from him in the meantime!!

2. Camping with my dear friend Holly at the Holland State Park for several days that were filled with trying to make pancakes on a grill, jumping multiple times from the pier, laying out to improve our tans and talking for hour upon hours never running out of things to analyze or laugh about.

1. Spending several weekends near my favorite lake in the world, Wolf Lake, all the while cruising for hours on the pontoon boat with my parents, reading in my hammock, kicking butt at beach volleyball and sitting around countless bonfires watching the stars and hearing the wind blow the my trees.

Coming back to Portugal found me refreshed and again ready to see what God has next for me. But what a gift my Michigan has been is to me still.

Make a Smilebox slideshow

Pictures of the new place.....

Just in case you didn't notice, this first picture was supposed to give you a quick look at my room before I managed to put it together! I figured everyone loves a good before and after picture.





Life in the new apartment has been full of fun as both of my wonderful roommates enjoy hosting. Every Monday night we have "Monday night dinners" with some of the young single internationals in the area. My roommates, Ashely and Stefanie, both enjoy cooking which tends to be a huge perk for me! Things are slowly settling into Summer mode around here and soon I will be hopping on plane to spend some time with the fam. I am really looking forward to my time at home, hoping to use it as a time to reflect, refill and recoup. I hope to be able to touch base with quite a few of my friends and family as well as cuddle with my chihuahua and take jogs on all my old jaunts! So until then I keep plugging on looking forward to enjoying the sun on the west Michigan shore once again!