Lessons Learned on the Court

I have been an athlete for as long as I can remember. The first game I picked up was the very invigorating game of tee-ball. A variation of softball that only offers entertainment for the players and that is almost painful to watch for the spectators. Some where in there I played a little soccer and even a little basketball, still never quite finding my niche. I joined a swim team and struggled through painful hours of practice sucking in too much water and almost going nuts for lack of intellectual stimulation. There was a short season of Ultimate Frisbee and some running, but none of these even come close to touching the enjoyment that I find in the wonderful sport of Volleyball! When I first moved to Portugal and discovered that it was actually a possibility for me to play volleyball on an actual team with actual practices and games, I was shocked! For the first two months I was in awe that I should receive such a gift. It really didn’t matter to me if I played or not. I was just happy to have an opportunity to play the game I loved and build relationships with Portuguese gals with similar interests. What a perfect way for me to connect with nationals as well as learn the language! I was so grateful I couldn’t stop telling people about how cool my God was! However, somewhere along the way, my competitive side took over. I wish I could say that I was above caring whether or not I received enough playing time, but I’m not. At the beginning of September with the inauguration of this year’s season, we received several new players a couple of whom were vying for my spot. Something inside me flared up. I started practicing harder, playing harder and being more focused in practice. Though this is not bad in the least, I also started to change the way I saw volleyball. Instead of seeing it as a gift, that the team and opportunity to play was a complete gift from God, I started to see it as something I was entitled too. After starting all last year, I thought I would of course be given my spot back. However, with a glitch in the system and the delay of necessary paper work from the states, I was not even able to dress. Finally when I was able to suit up, I was sitting the bench having been replaced by another player. I struggled with this as it was a huge hit to my competitive nature not to mention my ego. I struggled to have confidence on the court and even struggled to love the girls that were playing in front of me. It came to a head this past week after a very frustrating practice, and I realized that I had to wrestle with this, search my heart and figure out what was going on. Spending some time with God I was reminded of how I felt at the very beginning when I was first invited on the team. I remembered that like everything God gives us, volleyball was a gift. Like the air I breathe, the clothes I wear, the food I eat, the relationships I have and the games I get to play, it is a gift. If I hold onto it, grasping it as if I would be lost without it, as if the gift is so much more important than the giver, I not only miss the point of the gift, but am also more prone to lose it. However, if I set it in my open hands, thanking God for it, and being open to the thought that it could be taken from me, I will not only be grateful for it, but I will also enjoy it so much more. Last night we had a game. It was a tough match. Not starting again, I walked to the bench determined to contribute in someway. I analyzed the opponents, gave my opinions and supported my team from the bench. I held it with an open hand just being grateful for the time with the girls and the practices I enjoyed during the week. I was focused, and determined to love those around me. Eventually I got in and had a wonderful game complete with several kills, a few aces and a plethora of amazing digs, but it wasn’t my playing that made it fun, it was my attitude. For me, yesterday, volleyball was a gift. It was exactly what it was meant to be and nothing more than it should be.