Breathing Deeply...

Recently I was blessed with the opportunity to go "Up North". Now when I say up north, it could mean a good many things. Depending on the context it could mean, going up north to Monterrey, California. It could mean my parents cottage or even Canada, but in this context I am referring to my Uncle's Cottage on Drummond Island. This haven has been a place that I have been longing to go to for the past few years but have been unable to, because of scheduling conficts. However, as God would have it, it finally worked out, and I dare say that the timing was perfect. Not only was the timing perfect because of the peak autuoum colors that painted the landscape, and the mild temperatures that graced us that weekend, but also because of the lessons I learned.
Since coming back from Fuller, I have had so many things racing through my head. Given my current position in life (see previous blog for further information) I am perpetually posed to be thinking of the future. I am set to leave the country for two years without knowing where I'm going, with whom I'm going, what I'll be doing, or when I'll be leaving. Even being home holds ambiguity as my current job will last but a month more and I will again have an open schedule. However, in my short four day weekend "Up North" I was able to disconnect from all these ponderings. I was able to just be. To some extent I realize that that sounds cliche, but for me it was profound. Here I am, in my mid-twenties, having just finished my masters, ready to go out and change the world. Yet, I find myself in a seemingly permanent state of transition, hardly knowing what to expect next. This past weekend, however, I took a step back. I was finally able to breathe, to breathe deeply, to take in the beauty around me. It dawned on me this weekend, that that is all God is calling me to do right now. Sure he desires that me be obedient and follow after him, but he never told me to have all my ducks in a row. He has never called me to plan out my own path, rather he has asked me to trust him to do this. He simply asks me to be his daughter, to rejoice in where he has brought me and live in the moment, the only moment I actually have. While I was "Up North" I stayed with my Uncle and his family. I watched how they interacted, I watched how they loved each other, how they truly lived in the moment, the joy of just being with one another. While I was "Up North" I hiked down two tracks and hidden trails that seemed out of a painting as the rainbows of colors flowed into one another. While I was "Up North" I paddled softly watching the gentle breeze ripple the water below me as my uncle and I explored the coast by canoe. While I was "Up North" I enjoyed the slower pace of life and the peaceful existence that comes with it. Often, I get so caught up in where I am to go, and what I am supposed to do that I miss the purpose that God has set for me in this given moment. So as I am learning and as God is teaching me, I realize that though I may feel the pressure of the unknown before me, it's ok because right now he has just called me to breathe, breathe deeply and leave the rest to him. Who knows, maybe next month, next week or even tomorrow, my breather will be over, and I will be on to the next adventure, but for now I rest breathing in deeply the joys of the people, places and vistas that surround me.